

In this way, the liberation of sex actually regulates us. Hills argues persuasively that when our value is tied to sexual desirability and performance, we live with a new kind of shame: If we’re not having good sex, all the time, there’s something wrong with us.

She cites a recent study, which shows that on any given weekend, 80 percent of male college students think their schoolmates are having sex (it’s actually 5 percent to 10 percent). Rachel Hills, an Australian journalist who lives in New York, argues in “The Sex Myth” that there is a new gap between what we believe and what we do: Americans are secretly having less and worse sex than everyone thinks, and feeling bad about it. But romance is still mysterious - what does it feel like for everyone else? - and three new books try to explain modern mating. In the time of Tinder, our sexuality feels anything but secret. Sixty years later, many of us have come to regard sex - preferably passionate, hot, transformative sex - as central to our lives. This has lead to a demographic mismatch for those who want to date at the same educational level, according to the Washington Post.Back when adultery and gay sex were widely criminalized in the United States, when masturbation was thought to make you crazy and fellatio was taboo, the Kinsey Institute famously revealed that Americans were secretly less faithful, more gay, more various in their sexual practices and more perverse than most wanted to think. The tenth city on the men's list, Raleigh N.C., had 141 women per 100 men, higher than any ranking on the women's list.īirger attributes this to the fact that women have been attending college at higher rates than men since the 1980s.

took the top spot for the men's list, where there are a whopping 171 college-educated women per 100 men. The San Francisco Bay Area proved to be a very popular location for dating for women, with three of its cities landing on the list.įort Lauderdale, Fla. cities for dating for womenĪt the top of the list for women was San Jose, Calif., where there iare 112 men per 100 women. The newspaper published a list of the top 10 cities for dating for men and women, respectively, based off of information from Birger and the American Community Survey. The Washington Post recently spoke to Jon Birger, author of a new book called "Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game," where he looked at the respective dating pools for college-educated people ages 22-29.
